direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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