3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize