Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He shit in the fireplace
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
