STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
operation have a gay friend backfired
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
