You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
