So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
