how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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