OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
