I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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