Where is the hickey?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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