I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He felt like a one man threesome
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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