...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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