Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
