i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize