drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
i've created a new STD.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
