oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize