Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
