Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Randomize
