I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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