Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
your like the ambassador to my penis.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
