Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
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