thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Randomize
