apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Randomize
