I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
