she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
