Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
