watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
