Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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