happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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