I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I know her cup size but not her name....
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