he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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