How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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