Kareoke will never be a sober sport
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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