how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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