I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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