What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
