if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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