its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Randomize
