he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Your penis caused this!
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
