apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize