i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
