you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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