I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
