thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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