dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
