apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
