Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
