Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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