So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
