they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize