That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
