Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
