did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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