He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
