I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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