K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
