the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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