Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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