Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
