How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
