My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Everything about him screamed your future.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
