can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
