so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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