She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
My first STD was from a foam party
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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