I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
