I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
