please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
