my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Randomize
