Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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