At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
