everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize